


One Night

by Alcazar



Category: Sassica - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Sassica - Freeform, i guess??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:58:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcazar/pseuds/Alcazar





	One Night

They had known each other for years but Sarah was still in awe of Jess. She knew that awkwardness she felt was from the fucking illness that was her unrequited love. She hated it. But she needed it. It was a chronic disease that had manifested itself throughout her whole life- loving women who had never (could never?) love her back.  
Jessica was one more in a succession of women, largely teachers and mentors, whom Sarah had loved. But she was also more than that. Sarah's feelings for her were more concrete. More grounded in who the woman actually was, rather than just who she wanted her to be.  
And now they stood in Sarah's new apartment and Sarah thought that grounded love might choke her. This was her home and she wanted so fucking badly for Jess to be part of that.  
Jessica had been looking out the window into the night, lost in thought, the depth of which was no doubt facilitated by the wine she had consumed at the bar, leaving her pleasantly tipsy, perfectly relaxed.  
Jessica turned to Sarah. "I think I'd like to be shown the couch, now," she said, smiling. Sarah returned the smile and they moved into the living room.  
Jessica tripped on the corner of the rug and stumbled into Sarah, who steadied her in her arms. Having Jessica so close made her heart ache and for a second she thought she might cry. Jess laughed at her own clumsiness as she righted herself, but her amusement quickly subsided when she saw Sarah's face.   
Jess sat, and tugged Sarah down beside her.  
"What's wrong?" she asked.   
Sarah wouldn't meet her gaze. She was so tired. So tired, so tipsy, so tearful. For a moment she felt the absurd urge to laugh at the alliteration, but it passed quickly and left her with the stone cold seriousness of her reality and the fiery hot sincerity of her feelings.  
"Well did I hurt you?" Jessica asked.   
"No, no," Sarah said. "Of course not."   
"Well what, then?"   
Sarah rubbed her hand over her forehead. "Nothing, I'm just tired."  
"Oh come on, don't give me that shit."  
Sarah stood on the precipice. Was this her life, then? A longing which consumed her but would never be fulfilled? Fuck that. She was funny and talented and a generally pleasant person. She deserved to have more, or at least to try and fail and have done with it. She steeled herself to take the plunge, her hands clasped in her lap to conceal their shaking. She shrugged in defeat, then said it plainly. "I love you."  
To her surprise, Jessica laughed. "I mean is it so bad that we're friends?"  
Sarah felt anger flare. Didn't she get that this was hard enough without having to spell it out any further?  
"No, Jess, like I'm in love with you."  
Jessica's smile faded. Sarah's anger fell away at the sight of her softened expression. She had said what she meant to, so now she'd try something else.  
Sarah leaned in and kissed Jessica's lips. She kept her mouth closed, and Jessica didn't move at all. Sarah broke the kiss and used her finger to trace Jessica's cheek bone, her jaw, an eyebrow, marveling at every feature. Jessica just watched her, as if unsure of what exactly was happening.   
Sarah gently finger combed Jess' soft blonde waves back at the roots, and she felt Jessica relax a little under her caress. She clasped the back of her neck firmly and kissed her again. This time, Jessica reciprocated, but in the most passive way possible, opening her mouth for Sarah, barely contributing to the ebb and flow of the kiss. But still contributing.  
Sarah slipped her hand from the back of Jess' neck to that spot on her sternum she was always touching. Sarah ran her fingers over the spot with a gentle pressure. Jessica moaned softly without knowing for even an instant beforehand that she was going to. Encouraged, Sarah moved to kissing the side of her neck.  
"Stop," Jessica said, suddenly but softly, as if coming out of a trance.  
Sarah buried her face in Jessica's neck for a moment, and Jessica couldn't help but stroke the back of her head comfortingly.  
"Jess, please," Sarah said, her voice slightly muffled. She looked up. "Let me love you. Even if it's just for one night."  
Jessica considered her. She did long for touch. Maybe even... Yes. Yes, she hadn't let herself know it, but it came to her now as if it had always been there clearly: she wanted Sarah's touch. The person who made her laugh and put her at ease and whom she always found interesting. Sarah had been her home base in a crowd she didn't want to be a part of so many times. She made her feel safe. Why not draw it to its logical conclusion? For a trial period. Just to see.  
In the long pause between Sarah's question and Jess' decision, Sarah had leaned back and looked away.  
"I think you should go," she said hollowly.  
Jessica took her chin and forced her to meet her eyes.  
"Even if it's just for one night," Jess said, echoing Sarah's plea, and hearing a note of pleading in her own voice.  
Then Jessica kissed her. Not passive or cold or unsure. Just warm and affectionate, with the promise of more to come.


End file.
